What T6 means to me...

My task on the Youreka camp, T6, was to try and study the effects that our camps have on children. I used both quantitative and qualitative methods to do the same. I come back with a lot of information, insight, and interest. The following is a glimpse into what the experience has meant to me.

If there is one thing that I have been telling everyone who shows interest in my experience on Youreka (T6) it’s that I simply have not been happier in the past four years. I had been extremely happy in school; carried a bagful expectations to university, was stifled and dissatisfied; came to Delhi, only to be shocked at the cultural deficit of this wretched place. Then T6 happened.

Ok, I’m writing this “My experience” thing way after when I should have originally done this, so I may not be able to communicate to you the emotions that I experienced, in their original degree. For me, T6 was, let’s see... …, like dipping my face in the Tirthan River. For those of you who’ve done that, you may appreciate that this involves not just that single chilling, thrilling sensation but a lot more: a lot more, to know that your face has gone red and it’s not a blush; a lot more, when you know that you are enjoying it just as much and at the same level as the kid next to you; a lot more, when you delve into those erstwhile unnoticed pockets in your bag of emotions; a lot more that really can hardly be expressed on paper.

When setting out, I was apprehensive and nervous. Apprehensive, because my methodology involved some exercises in self awareness that I was not sure how children would react to. Nervous, because I had forgotten what I was capable of: I was rusting and atrophied. But, come the station and I had changed. I had been regretting that I had not been through that ice-breaking-games literature that I had asked AD for. Within minutes of being in the train I found that none of that was required. We have in a certain slice of Allahabad this quality and habit of instant mixing with strangers: we take hardly any time at all to convert strangers to acquaintances, and acquaintances to friends. Within ten minutes, I discovered that I was travelling with a lot of these Allahabadis. There was so much warmth within that bogie that one could not notice the heat outside.

But coming back to the face-wetting thing, I think I realized why I had been so happy in school and not thereafter. I know now that children mean a lot to me, particularly in a large number, particularly the middle school age-group. I had had a lot of exposure to these in school, as head boy. There is just so much energy here, with these kids (we never talked numbers, but joules!). They were exploring themselves for the first time, I for the second. The glee in our eyes was the unifying factor. I had had these lovely moments of exploration when I was their age: I wanted to help them see, feel, and experience these the best that I could facilitate.
If there’s one thing that I would put my finger on as my best experience on T6, it will probably be the minutes that I spent conducting the Public Speaking minor. This is something that I have always enjoyed doing, and it was special. I did not know what I was doing (it was hardly structured), I was picking up strings from their words and bringing them to come to the “gold-spot” and speak for two minutes. It was mad, yet there was method in it. Some would speak for two, some three, some half a minute; some had to be bound and gagged to their benches. But all spoke. Not even a single kid (from the two groups that I had with me) could stay away from the gold-spot. That to me was an achievement, an accomplishment, a reason to keep my smile alive for weeks.

Yes, I can’t stop smiling. It’s crazy, but I’m in love. That group of kids has mesmerised me. This, too, had happened to me in school. I’m so glad that I have been able to taste it again.

The young shirk-worker

18th May

My third day at iDiscoveri. [I must take you back into that cabin before we proceed to Day 3.] Well, after the monumental stir up I had begun to feel important enough to take some liberties. So, I got Mr. Rajpal to allow me some:

a. To have the privilege of exercising my discretion in coming to office. My point was that I might need to spend more time in libraries than on my office desk.

b. To get myself membership with the American Information Resource Center, and to get iDiscoveri to pay for it.

c. To accompany the iDiscoveri team that was to leave for teacher recruitment programme the next day to Nainital.

Though, as I mentioned that I was feeling important enough to demand these things, I was relieved on not getting a "No" to any of the above propositions.
Now, since the time my placement had been finalised with iDiscoveri, I had been nurturing a dream project. A project that would transform the activities of iDiscoveri and expand their horizons five-fold. But my CEO had just roped me in to his own dream project, and all my day dreaming was being proclaimed as idling. I must pat myself on the back for having had the kind of presence of mind under those challenging moments (when my voice, complexion, and courage had decided to leave me) to actually fall back upon some kind of reserve energy back-up and voice something. In a quivering voice I told Mr. Rajpal that if he didn't mind I had my own proposal to share, and asked him if this was the best time to share it. It is a personal observation that, unless it's a problem that commands clinical attention, authoritative men are generally seen to suddenly acquire a noticeable degree of patience when their subjects decide to find their voices. I must assure you though that Mr. Rajpal is really far from the monstrous image that my statements seem to paint of him: but, as I had earlier expressed, I had not very often been so cowed down. And Psychology has screamed its throat hoarse pointing out to the altered state of perceptiveness that people under such adverse circumstances enter. So, it was really nice to be heard out nicely. In fact, Mr. Rajpal expressed that he was glad that I was beginning to come up with my own ideas about expansion. However, before I could see myself become the hero that I had been seeing myself become all the while when I was planning this stuff, I was made to understand that it was not feasible this year. Mr. Rajpal made it clear that the only way I could convince him of the need to do it this year would probably involve going on a fast unto death.

I left the cabin….

The next day, iDiscoveri missed me. I had got the lease I wanted: my leash had been extended in length, only so that I could hang myself from a higher pedestal. You must understand that though studies do manage to grip my fascination at times, I am quintessentially not a bookworm (without the euphemism, read "Many would readily nominate me for the President of the National Association of Passive Aggressors to Academics"). And here I was, standing in the queue for membership with the American Information Resource Center, as a first step towards the mountain I had been asked to climb.

While leaving for the American… …Centre (which I decide to hereafter address as AC), I had been consoled by my rocket-diminishing optimism that places as elite and posh as the AC are generally frequented by some of the most promising girls that one can ever hope to see. "Yes", I said, "of course, where else?". During the seven-odd hours that I spent there, I must assure you, I did manage to catch a glimpse of textual material between my gazing for better sights. But remember, God does have sadistic tendencies. After I returned from the AC, I spent a little over two hours trying to find a logical argument to convince the AC authorities that they need to exercise some kind of a stringent screening procedure before admitting females into those august premises.

But, those glimpses of textual material yielded me the references of 67 books, 18 journals, and 8 CD ROM's that AC could supply me with, pertaining to my research. As, I'm certain you will agree, for a man with not the best kind of focus, that is a mighty impressive piece of work. Huh?